By Dulce Soza
Everyone is affected by technology now and most of us know it. New apps and trends are created almost every day leading people to think they need to look a certain way to fit into society’s version of “ perfection.” The question is, how does all of this affect people’s dating lives? Some may lie to themselves and say it doesn’t, yet they check their partner’s Snapchat score constantly. Others admit that technology makes it easier for them to behave in a crazy manner in order to secure a relationship with someone else.
The word dating is defined as “two individuals engaging in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other’s suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship.” The word dating in our century has apparently grown to mean “He liked my post, he must really want me” or even better “Let’s Netflix and chill.” The real question is why do some young people seem intent on being OK with this. Is it fear that if they have certain standards then no one will step up and fit them? Are some afraid of being alone because they want respect and the ability to set a few boundaries? Or, do some of today’s youth just simply think that dating is rubbish and only leads to heartbreak?
So, how does technology affect our current relationships? In 2023, people can simply log in to their dating app and swipe on the individuals they like best. Users can keep in touch with everyone through social media and stay informed through their posts. It all seems impersonal and even confusing. Someone can Snapchat or direct message you and then say the very same thing to three other people. Discussing our use of social media, one NTCC student said, “I’ve learned that you should always make sure you send the right message to the right person and don’t get your conversations mixed up.” I actually miss the days when a man would walk up to your front door with beautiful flowers and take you out to a nice dinner where they asked questions about your goals and dreams. Now we just receive a text that says, “Wyd.”
But, don’t be misled, not everyone has bad intentions just because they have social media. Jenifer, another student at NTCC, recounted the story of meeting her boyfriend of three years through a mutual friend on Instagram. She said, “He first direct messaged me when we were sophomores, and I thought he was cute so I responded. We’re planning on moving in together after we both graduate from college.” Some people do get their happily ever after while others like Jenifer’s best friend admit they can be toxic when looking at their “situationships” friend list and wondering why they seem to be online and not able to respond back to her. What might really seem toxic is that there is no such a thing as a “situationship” because if the person really wanted to be in a relationship with you, then you would be in one.
The truth is technology may make it easier for your significant other to cheat or lie, or it may make it easier to stay connected to those that you love. Technology will always be there, but the trust will only remain as long as the one behind it stays honest. It is up to each person to say what behavior they will allow from others and how we accept the love we think we deserve. If someone isn’t treating you the way you want, well you can always swipe on the next one and leave that toxic man or woman behind. The dating game is not really a game because if the award for winning is a lifetime of happiness with the one you love and cherish then why risk it?